Energy, recently.

Dance! Photo taken at the Winnipeg Folk Festival, 1995

Trust me I don’t understand Physics, in fact, the last time I took Physics I was 14 and it never made sense to me. But I do understand that energy is the source of life and that energy begets energy.

There are so many ways that energy shows up and down in our life. Yes the sun, yes feeling energized, but where do we get it? Where do we direct it?  What fuels it? We know the percentage of our phone battery, and the level of fuel in our car but how often do we look inwards and ask how our energy is? Where do you turn when your battery is low? It is funny how you start noticing things, thoughts and questions once something is on your mind.


A workshop that I attended prompted some thoughts. Where do I spend my energy? Where are my strengths directed and present? And what do I want more of? What am I missing? The answer was clear, not just to me, but to the three other participants sitting at my table. Humour, laughter, lightness.

Later that afternoon after a few glasses of champagne at a beautiful baby shower for a dear friend I was in a taxi with three other women. The talk, following the openness and sharing of the afternoon, continued on the ride home.  We had discussed how to teach little boys to pee (put Cheerios in the toilet and ask them to aim, by the way) we had shared our birth stories, and we had laughed over wise and wonderful advice. But during the ride home the chat took a turn towards the funnier and less known stories of post-childbirth life. Put it this way: the taxi driver certainly had an education. I laughed till my belly hurt. Later at home, I realized I hadn’t laughed like that in too long.

It got me thinking about that too-rare kind of laughter, the kind where your whole body shakes, tears come out of your eyes.  Wow did that laughter give me energy! How do you inject more humour into life? Yes, you can watch stand-up comedy, or better still go to a show. Yes, there are funny films. But day to day? That ability to find the humour in a situation? To have a touch about life that is light enough to find the funny even in the dark?


I have read two good books back to back. What fills my cup when I am depleted is disappearing into another world. When my energy is low and I have run out of fuel, I like to enter the world of a movie, a gripping tv show or an engrossing book. The characters have to feel real enough for me to disappear into their lives. Everybody knows that feeling, when your energy battery is low, when you have no more words, when you can’t give another ounce. What do other people do to recharge? Sports, video games, cooking, dancing, Mahjong? For me, it is to sink beautifully into another world. When I come back up I am recharged, inspired, full of stories and ready to create. If people know what their ‘thing’ is then they can go towards that and indulge, no apologies, until it is time to come back. (Staying away too long is problematic, set boundaries carefully and ask if this ‘thing’ gives or takes away energy.)


I have been making new friends. Friendship is energy. I have made friends with smart, beautiful, energetic and inspiring women. Most are involved in coaching, some are connected to education, all have stories to share, we have a lot in common, and we are all of an age where we are looking into the horizon and planning what’s next. Female friendship is the key to a good life. Whether it is talking over coffee or walking and talking, there is nothing like the connection between two women who like each other. It is playful, it is safe, it is abundant.


I have been reading newsletters on Substack by strangers. Wise, funny, introspective women who have wisdom to share. One of them shares my last name and I wonder if we are connected. Maybe far back there was a man, he had sons, one traveled to America, where she was born. Do we share blood? Are we distant kin? What is kinship? I have blood relations I don’t see, nor even like and I have friends with whom I share no blood and yet I consider them family. But there was something that called to me when I saw her name on the screen. A deep longing to source some energy from ancestry.


I have been thinking about self-care. What does self-care even mean? A glass of wine? A bubble bath? A massage?  Fresh sheets and warm cookies? I am starting to think that self-care means doing whatever you like and not feeling guilty about it. Removing the guilt is self-care. Not being productive and that being ok. Taking a day to do whatever you want, whether reading on the sofa all day, watching back-to-back movies, or mountain biking. Self-care is doing whatever care means to you. Imagine: instead of calling in sick, we could take one of our allocated self-care days and nurture ourselves so that we can return to work, nourished and cared for. Ready for the world. Energized and replenished.


My home smells of the scent of lilies, and it is the smell of love. My daughters sent me flowers for Mother’s Day and when I see them I am reminded of their decision to go online and order flowers. Such a simple act that brings me so much pleasure. How easy it is to bring joy. Why don’t we wake up and create more joy? I think of joy as an instant energy charge, and it is contagious, spreading and sharing energy with everyone it touches.

Where do you get your energy? What drives you when your cup is low?

Thanks, as always, for reading. Sam x

One thought on “Energy, recently.

  1. ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ Warm showers, cookies, books, reading to my girls, tv with my husband, mixed touch football games for the laughter, hairdresser visits, manicures, buying new earrings, and being with all my female friends and family. Love this article, Sam. Beautifully written. Thought-provoking and relatable. ♥️🌷💐🌅


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