New year new /being me.
I am not a huge fan of resolutions. They are too much pressure and most of the time you fail and then just feel worse. There is something profoundly wrong about the concept of a ‘new you’. Instead, let us reframe that and consider what you like about the you that exists right here and now. Change is good, it is the only certainty there is, but let the change be built on the foundation of what already is.
How about this year, instead of resolving to change, we resolve to do a little dusting, a clean out and a shuffle through the closets of our lives to see where we are, what we like and what we want to keep.
This year has been overwhelming. We do not need to listen to the loud noise telling us to be better, thinner, shinier, richer, fitter. We can choose to listen to our own inner voices telling us to be who we are: just fine, works in progress, picking up gifts as we travel through time.
Ask yourself these three questions:
- What was a gift that you want to take forward into 2021?
What did you learn this year? Did something shift or turn this year, did you drop a bad habit or pick up a new one, did you learn something about yourself?
2. What will you say yes to this year?
Find 3 things that you want to commit to. These should not be massive tricky things that involve unreasonable time commitments, or a lot of money and they should not be things that won’t fit easily into your life. Most importantly they must involve no ‘shoulds’ but instead they should be ‘wants’. So instead of ‘I should start running,’ make it something you actually want to do. And it could be as simple as wanting to call an old friend more frequently. If there is one thing this crazy year has taught us, it is that connecting with people you like is an easy, available, and free pleasure.
What do you want to take forward this year?
3. What will you say no to this year?
Again, no ‘shouldn’ts’ here. Think about something a little less concrete. Instead of ‘no sugar’ consider ‘no treating my body badly.’
What do you want to let go of this year?
Language is important and the way we write our intentions can change the way we move forward.
Keep it simple and celebrate the little things.
Be kind to yourself. This is not a race, this a journey.
Samantha Chesler Coaching 
I love this inversion of the constant pressure to change and resolve to do things differently each year. Small little reframes sound like the perfect way to approach the New Year. I plan to be kind to myself about accepting how long tasks take, taking on less tasks, and not comparing myself to others who seem to be more clear-headed and efficient at adulting than me. I also plan to follow my instincts. A gift I learnt in 2020 was that when I physically cringe at something – it is worth staying away from it. I’m gong to use that in my journey. Thanks for these ideas, Samantha.
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